Well, you might want to think it over a little more before you take a vow of celibacy and commit to a monogamous relationship with Seamless - because as foul as we are in pairs, we are inarguably a thousand times fouler on our own. It's enough to make you want to swear off dating and barricade yourself inside your house alone forever, right?
And that's not even touching on all the gross stuff that couples do that doesn't involve swapping any bacteria, but does involve being wildly foul -like sharing toothbrushes, pooping with the door open, or picking a stray piece of broccoli out of their teeth. Yeah, those are 80 million harmless bacteria, but the whole thing still feels a little gross. We've established that all couples are disgusting, and I'm not just talking about the pet names - I'm talking about the way that every time you and your sweetie exchange a tender kiss, that kiss contains 80 million bacteria (okay, I'm also talking about the pet names).